In Response To My Best Friend…

And to all those looking marriage in the face!

Marriage

Scary topic right?? Yes and no! It is scary because you think it something new, unchartered waters, it isn’t all that new … Trust me.

I’ve learned a few things in the past three years of marriage. Trust me I’m not claiming to have all the answers and God knows I was a really bad wife for a while there BUT what I do have is some experience and some rambling to share with you!!

There Is No Such Thing As The Perfect Soulmate Or Perfect Marriage

Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble but nothing is ever perfect, you’re going to have hard times, disagreements, tears, fights, blowouts and there will be times you think about leaving. However there will also be love, quiet times, parties, happiness, and occasionally you will wonder how you ever lived without the other person.

Marriage is a balancing act and it’s a lot of work but the pay off can be amazing if you open your eyes and see the little things. Life is an amazing adventure if you allow it to be!

Marriage is not as scary as you think. Marriage isn’t a piece of paper Marriage is everyday, working together to get things done, marriage is grocery shopping, paying bills, going out for dinner, going on vacation, fights, compromise. Marriage is really no different then the things the two of you are doing day in and day out together right now! Don’t let those vows intimidate you. They are just words and your marriage license is just paper. Your words and that paper can’t force you to stay together. Your actions and feelings for each are what your marriage is made of. The way you work as a team and treat each other are what will keep you together.

Marriage is falling out of love and back in love with the same person hundreds of times because just when you think you’ve reached a breaking point something happens that makes you remember why you fell in love in the first place!!

Marriage is letting the other person have the last cupcake! Giving and taking but also being patient and thankful. Marriage is as much about learning who you are as it is learning who the other person is. Make yourself a promise right now to never give up on learning who either is!

Marriage is like the seasons, always changing, renewing, living, dying. Marriage is a promise to let your two worlds collide and to hold on for dear life to each other. To help each other be better. To help each other get through the tough times and embrace the good times.

Never let your marriage destroy your individuality and never think you have the right to destroy your partners individuality. Getting married doesn’t mean you lose you to become a “We”. Marriage means you promise to hold on to who you are, respect who your partner is and work together to both be the best you can. In the process the support will create an amazingly strong bond. Together you will be better because you have nurtured each others strong points.

Marriage is counting to ten and remembering that no matter how mad you are in this moment that person you’re livid with is someone you love deeply. Marriage is being careful with the words you choose because once those words are out there you can’t take them back.

Marriage is falling but helping each other back up. Sometimes one person may fall hard, fast, and deep. It’s going to hurt! You can embrace the hurt and walk away or you can except that much like cleaning a wound with iodine it’s gonna sting like a bitch but eventually the sting will subside and the scar will fade. People make mistakes and marriage is accepting the mistakes others make and the hurt they cause but deciding to heal through the hurt and be stronger on the other side.

Marriage and a wedding are not the same thing! In fact in today’s world either one can happen without the other! A wedding is a public celebration of the love between two people! Don’t let planing that celebration harm the love you’ve already built. Remember you can’t please everyone and your choices may step on a few toes but no one is going to die if YOUR wedding isn’t the way they envisioned it. Enjoy your special day, embrace the excitement and experience and remember its just one day. Marriage is the rest of your life if you choose for it to be.

Life ain’t always beautiful and neither is marriage. Both will knock you down but its easier to get back up when you have a hand from someone you love.

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