227 pounds. 

I said it. I wrote it. I own it. 

Mostly I want to change it. 

Last month I weighed myself and weighed 224 pounds. The number repeated itself in my head all day and the days following. I considered writing about that number but at some point I changed my mind. I ate well for a few days and then went right back to how it’s been for too long. 

I’ve never openly posted my weight. I’ve never openly told anyone “my numbers”. Last time I had a major lifestyle change I talked about how much I lost but never exactly where I started!  I was 228 pounds the day I walked into Weight watchers back in 2011. I lost over 50 pounds on that journey. 228 pounds… The heaviest I’ve ever been! Today I’m 1 pound below the heaviest I’ve ever been.  I let that sink in all day today. 

It’s time for a change. I want to change. I’m not even going to post my list of excuses about why I have gained weight. I am however going to tell you I have too much respect for my body and what it’s capable of to keep treating it this poorly! 

Those of you who follow my Instagram, blog, Facebook or who know me personally know the food you see is in fact the “healthy food” I eat.  It’s not even the baking I post that’s the issue. I honestly don’t eat 99% of what I bake. I give it away. What you don’t see is the chocolate.   You don’t see the double cheeseburger I grab (frequently) in the drive thru because I haven’t made healthy choices a priority.  

You don’t see the night time binge eating. 

I don’t have a hashtag for hey guys I ate an entire box of  Purdys…. Again! 

 I don’t share those things but it obvious as I continue to get bigger. 

My body deserves better than this. 

My body gave me a beautiful son and I want to have this under control before my poor habits damage his ability to know what healthy really means! 

My body (and my persistence) carried me across the finish line of a 1/2 marathon. 

My body carries me through my days and my life. 

My body truly deserves better and right now is the first minute of better! 

This isn’t just about the number on the scale. This is about so much more. It’s about finding myself, loving myself and treating myself the way I deserve to be treated.