Pay attention to your surroundings because secrets are most often hidden in plain sight.
Sometimes I create these wild scenarios in my head. Scenarios to explain why something is happening or not happening. More often then not when something is bothering me with someone or a situation I’ve had the argument or conversation in my head multiple times before we get around to laying the cards on the table. By the time you realize I’m angry I’ve already surpassed the point of simple recovery. I use to think I might be legitimately crazy but with age comes wisdom. Now at 38 years old I realize that I am one of those people who feel things viscerally. I can’t let things go until I’ve gone over every version of the situation a number of times. Break it into a million pieces and put it back together just so.
Do your shattered, jagged edges cut through everything? Through everyday or do they glisten in the sunshine as you try to figure out how to navigate a world where we’re all a little broken and jagged?
My imperfections are not inadequacies, they are my truths. They are what makes me who I am. You can try to make sense of these things but all you will ever do is base me on you. The version of me you have created doesn’t actually exist. That person is simply an outcome of the pieces of me you want to take. The events you want to remember. The conversations both spoken and not that you have glued together with your feelings and your thoughts. This is the only way we really know anyone.
Sweet friend, Norman bates said it best “It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes.”