Ten weeks of 2021 have come and gone. As I age I really realize how quickly time moves and somedays it’s really hard to swallow.
Speaking of time, Yesterday was a busy day!! The first half was all about hurry up and wait! I had to wait for the sourdough bread to do its thing so I could get it baked and out the door to 2 friends! It’s kinda neat to know something I create is being used to create a meal for another family to have dinner tonight! Covid may mean we can’t be together but we can stay connected!
The rest of the day was errands and groceries! I really enjoyed getting out of the house, even if was just for groceries. Kevin took me to my favourite local market (Ralph’s) and to Homesense! We went to Costco and he stopped and got me some Apple AirPods because the noise canceling function was recommended to me to help my mental health! I desperately need quiet to function and feel whole.
I’m very thankful I’ve got a husband who makes me take advice that may help me despite the cost.
Muffin would like you to know she’s extremely thankful for guacamole 🤣 This pup begged for guacamole and chips for an hour last night! She made me laugh!
Pay attention to your surroundings because secrets are most often hidden in plain sight.
Sometimes I create these wild scenarios in my head. Scenarios to explain why something is happening or not happening. More often then not when something is bothering me with someone or a situation I’ve had the argument or conversation in my head multiple times before we get around to laying the cards on the table. By the time you realize I’m angry I’ve already surpassed the point of simple recovery. I use to think I might be legitimately crazy but with age comes wisdom. Now at 38 years old I realize that I am one of those people who feel things viscerally. I can’t let things go until I’ve gone over every version of the situation a number of times. Break it into a million pieces and put it back together just so.
Do your shattered, jagged edges cut through everything? Through everyday or do they glisten in the sunshine as you try to figure out how to navigate a world where we’re all a little broken and jagged?
My imperfections are not inadequacies, they are my truths. They are what makes me who I am. You can try to make sense of these things but all you will ever do is base me on you. The version of me you have created doesn’t actually exist. That person is simply an outcome of the pieces of me you want to take. The events you want to remember. The conversations both spoken and not that you have glued together with your feelings and your thoughts. This is the only way we really know anyone.
Sweet friend, Norman bates said it best “It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes.”
What a wild ride 2020 has been so far! This week has been a tough one for me personally. After an awesome adventure with my little family I found it tough to settle back into the day to day and harder yet to face the reality of dealing with our new normal. I’m really doing my best through all of this to find a bit of calm but when weeks like this hit it’s tough.
So this week I’m beyond grateful for a few friends who take the time to check in. For friends who ask questions to be sure I’m truly ok. Friends who pick up the phone and call me or send a text! Friends who don’t have an agenda! Friends who care enough to ask why we came home early from our trip. Friends who take the time to listen when I need to vent about how hard the current situation I’m facing with aging parents truly is. Friends who are true and real!
So thank you to those friends! Thank you for the unguarded love. Thank you for the mutual respect. Thank you for being you.
It’s been exactly one year since I walked away from my job with an employer who didn’t value me as a employee but worse he didn’t value you me as a human being. Finding the courage to walk away from a well paying job when I was the sole provider for my little family was one of the hardest and most terrifying things I had ever done!!! But you know what? It was the best decisions I ever made. My well-being and my mental health, my actual health, my sanity all proved more important than a paycheque. Finding my self worth and myself again has been a journey. But as I sit here in this little cabin, looking at the moon reflecting on the lake I’ve never been more sure of something in my life!!
Take care of yourself! Your whole self! Don’t put up with people who treat you like you’re worth less than they are! Don’t put up with people who think they own you because they sign your paycheque. Treat others with respect and don’t tolerate those who don’t treat you the same. Love the ones who love you. Find your people and hold on!
Everything will work out even if the first step terrifies you!
Hey friends! I’m not going to lie to any of you…. I’ve been cranky!! Not just a little off full on cranky!! I’m frustrated by having to put my renovations on hold and by being unable to move forward. I know it’s Thursday and my goal is to post what I’m thankful for but I’m also real. This whole thing is hard!
So today I’m Thankful for being able to be honest and tell you all that I’m struggling. I’m longing for normalcy of the day to day life we lost so abruptly! I do however remind myself daily how lucky I am that my family is safe and healthy and how much worse things could be! So I’m thankful I can be real and honest and still admit this is all very hard!
Happy Thursday friends! We are in our fourth week of self isolation over here! The new life “normal” is a lot to take in! Definitely a whole host of emotions daily! I’m thankful my little family is holding up well and healthy so far. I’m thankful for all the folks doing their best to follow the rules and care for each other!
Lets remember there is no one size fits all for handling this current pandemic situation! Some people will thrive through this and others will fall, hurt, or even take their own lives. If you want to work out at home, awesome! If you want to sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix, fantastic! Do whatever feels right with your time at home. Don’t worry about what other people are doing! Resist the urge to compare yourself to others! Resist the urge to judge how others are reacting/function/coping or not! We’re all in this together but we are all allowed to work through it how we need to! Stay home and do you ❤️
It’s been a long week for all of us! I don’t have much to say today but I will share one of the things im thankful for today. I’m thankful for all the logistics staff, farmers, truck drivers, grocery store staff etc working through this terrifying time to maintain our food supply.
Without these integral workers things would be much harder than they already are! So thank you to you and everyone on the front lines. ❤️
What a week! Are you guys okay out there? This week has been one of the longest weeks of any of our lives. The emotional roller coaster, the information overload, the fear, the unknown.
I don’t have a lot of advice to offer except love each other hard and do your best to help keep other safe.
Take time to breathe. Step away from social media. Find safe ways to distract from the situation at hand. Bake a cake, try a new recipe, read a book, dance! Anything that will make you smile!
This week I’m thankful for lots! I’m thankful for everyone who is taking this seriously. I’m thankful my family is currently healthy. I’m thankful I can bury my face in my husbands beard and in Jacob’s little neck and breathe in their smells and feel love.
I’m thankful for cheerful flowers and that Mother Nature has blessed us with a week of sunshine so we can at least play in the backyard to break up the day! I’m thankful for cupcakes and coffee. I’m thankful for phone calls with friends and daily text check in’s.
I’m thankful I can find something to be thankful for!
We’re neck deep in renovations with no end in sight but my energy and heart has been with Muffin all week.
Muffin had some pretty major dental surgery this week. As a small havanese dog she’s prone to dental disease and unfortunately her teeth didn’t fare so well. She eats a raw diet and the lack of crunch and scraping while chewing definitely sped the process along. Sadly Muffin had to have 25 teeth removed this week. She came through surgery well and is recovering well at home.
It’s been 179 days since I stood up and walked away from an abusive employer. It’s taken me most of those to stop feeling guilty for leaving the patients and taking care of my own wellbeing.
It’s been 1872 days since the accident that took away the way of life my husband and I knew .
It’s been 1837 days since I’ve become a Mom.
It’s been 37 days since we “settled” with ICBC.
In all those days I haven’t found myself but honestly I haven’t really looked. I haven’t really known where to look or how to look. What I do know is I sort of feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel instead of another dark tunnel.
My only thought is “Baby run!” Don’t run away from it run towards it! Run, embrace it. There is no shortcut.
This is the first time in over 5 years that for some reason it feels like I just got a breathe of spring.