Tag Archive | love

Three’s A Crowd & We Like It

Want to know the one question that can instantly make me cringe? The one question that makes me silently rage and question the question askers logic, and boundaries? The one question that makes me want to walk away from the conversation…

“When are you having baby number two?”

Or really any question in that line of question war fare! If you’re a Mom of one you know the questions I’m referring to!

“Ready to do it all again?”

“Aww you’re not going to make him be an only child are you?”

“Are you going to try for a girl?”

Sometimes they aren’t questions at all. Sometimes they are disguised as (not) clever little quips and remarks!

“Time for a playmate for Jacob”

“You could fit another car seat in there no problem!”

“You aren’t getting any younger!”

“Being an only child isn’t fair”

First off let me say this… if you ask these questions to anyone STOP IT! These questions are exhausting. Having to explain a personal situation or choice is not fun! Having to discuss infertility,loss.personal health issues because someone thinks it’s their right to know your family dynamics is not ok!!

I can’t tell you how many times in the last five years I’ve been asked these questions. In fact the first time I got asked about baby number two was while baby number one was still baking in my uterus!

People are demanding and nosey! Complete strangers seem to worry about my family make up like it somehow affects their wellbeing. This is mind boggling for me. In what world does Jacob being an only child affect anyone but him, Kevin and myself. I guess maybe it could be stretched to say grandparents but both sets of those aren’t suffering in the number department!

Sometimes it takes unexplainable effort to even personally accept that baby number two is never going to happen. Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes a full fledged grieving process to even begin to come to terms with being a Mom to only one baby for whatever the reason is. Sometimes you might morn the loss of a chance gone by or a chance taken away one New Year’s Eve night. And you know what, that’s ok! Coming to terms with things in your own time is your business and you know what no one needs when they are trying to mourn, grieve, cope, celebrate, live??? “Karen” from accounting asking when you’re going to get on having baby number two!

Just don’t! Don’t be the person who thinks they are entitled to someone else’s reproductive life story.

Everything Is Something….

Nov5

Except sometimes your something isn’t (and doesn’t need to be) everyone else’s everything.

I’m so incredibly thankful to be Canadian. To live in a country that allows me the freedoms to live my life however I deem fit!! For that all my respect and love goes out to honour and remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifices to provide us those freedoms.

Remembrance day is, was, and always will be deeply meaningful to me.

The fact we put up some of our Christmas decorations this weekend does not in any way diminish the respect I have for all of those who have and continue to serve this great country so that me and my family can continue to live in peace and make our own choices about how and when we choose to do things.

This weekend I had a number of strong opinions and snarky remarks thrown at me because I chose to share Jacob and I’s excitement over our Christmas decorations and baking Christmas cookies. I was told I’m “disrespectful” and that I don’t honour the soldiers that fought for our country. I was told that decorating prior to November 12th is “unnecessary” and “ridiculous”.

At first I was really annoyed but the more I thought about it the more I really started to think about the connotations of the words and insults being hurled all over social media at those who choose to get festive early.

My stance on this is simple, I don’t tell others adults how to run their lives, how to raise their kids, when to go to bed, what to eat for dinner, etc. So I can’t wrap my head around why all of the sudden people are wanting to take away freedom of choice from people. The very thing so many have and continue to fight and die for. Freedom.

Let that sink in.

We all live in this amazing country. We all have rights to celebrate, practice religion, wear what we want, eat what we want, marry who ever we want. But yet many still feel the need to force their opinions and beliefs on others. To feel the need to talk down to others who don’t do life like they do.

It hit me. This isn’t about the Remembrance Day/Christmas decoration issue. This goes far deeper. This is about people who can’t help but want others to live like they do. People who want to engrain their beliefs on to others without actually realizing that they are using methods of shame, ridicule, and embarrassment to do so.

That’s a scary path when you really think about it.

At the end of the day I’ve realized I know who I am, I know what makes me happy, I know where my respect and my honour lies. I know what Remembrance Day means to me and I know a few Christmas decorations aren’t strong enough to take any of that away from me.

It Could Have Been Me…

Jun16

It could have been you. Anyone of us Mothers could be feeling the absolute heartbreak Melissa Graves is feeling right now. The numbness, the regret, the blame, the devistation.

None of us are immune to tragedy. None of us can see the future. None of us know if the last hug or frustrated sigh over uneaten dinner will be the last. None of us know when our number is up.

None of us are perfect parents. Not a single one of us can claim we have never taken our eyes off our child for a split second. Not a single parent alive can pretend that in a brief second, one horrible life changing second couldn’t destroy our lives and take our baby away forever. Because deep down we know it could it. Things happen. Horrible, unthinkable things…accidents happen.

Accidents happen. Think about that for a second. Then remember why we don’t spend every second of our lives worrying about these unthinkable tragedies. We don’t because we can’t. We spend our lives trying our best to make happy, fun memories with our littles. Because we want them to live and enjoy life, even if those lives are short. We want to see their smiles and hear their giggles.

That is exactly what the Graves family was doing on a magical family trip before it all got taken away in one of those horrible life changing seconds. Please remember that before you cast doubt, point a finger of blame or claim this would never happen to your child! Please be kind to parents who are facing horrible things, be kind to the family at the restaurant with the toddler melting down, be understanding to the Mom who can’t get her children to leave the playground without them screaming wildly. Just be kind.

Parenting is hard, it’s exhausting, it’s frustrating. Parenting is a full time job, it doesn’t stop because you’re on vacation and if it does stop you’d give your own life to bring it back.

Thankful Thursday ~ November 28

Nov29

I spent yesterday cooking up a turkey feast for my family. We decided to celebrate American Thanksgiving and by the time everyone left I was exhausted! Content but exhausted. I planted myself on the couch, sipped a vodka and cranberry in a fancy glass and promptly fell asleep!

As many of you know our family has been dealt a rather tough hand in the autoimmune department. My brother has a swiftly progressive form of Multiple sclerosis and I have my ever annoying bout of Lupus. We take life one day at a time and do what we can when we can! I for one am a firm believer that its not the hand life deals you that matters it’s how you play it!

Yesterday when the mail arrived my brother handed me a card. I ripped it open and upon reading it my eyes instantly filled with tears. Back in the spring a large group of us formed a team for our local MS walk. We did amazing in the fundraising department thanks to all our generous friends, family, coworkers and even strangers. I was shocked how much we raised as a team! The card I received yesterday was a thank you card. It was from a local girl who received a new wheelchair from the MS society thanks in large part to our fundraising efforts.

Of course I knew our donations and efforts were for a great cause but receiving that card really drove it home for me.

This thankful Thursday found me being acutely aware of how much something I did made someone else so thankful. I am not really sure how to verbalize my feelings on this. I am thankful our efforts made such a difference in someone’s life. I am thankful I was able to do something like that for someone else. I am thankful for all those who donated and fundraised. I am thankful that despite these auto immune issues that change my brother and I’s daily lives we still bonded together to try to help others.

I look around my house, my life and realize I am extremely blessed. There is very little I do without. I am spoiled. I have more then I need. I know this, I acknowledge it and I am thankful for what I have. My life is full of little things that bring me comfort and make me happy. Things many people can’t afford. My home is warm and cozy, my clothes are warm and cozy. My heart is full of love for and from those around me. I am thankful that I am blessed enough to be able to help others.

Vegas 2013

Nov23

Kevin and I spent last week in Vegas! It was a great vacation and a great way to celebrate our third wedding anniversary and Kevin’s 30 birthday!

I don’t have a ton of photos to share with you from the trip because I didn’t want to be spending all our time snapping photos! The trip was about spending time together and enjoying Vegas! Needless to say we rocked it!

The weather, the food, the shopping were all magnificent! As always! We have been to Vegas a number of times and these things are yet to disappoint! I was super excited to find the Nike studio wraps that I saw online and have lusted after for months!

Yoga just got cuter 😉

The food! Seriously Vegas is a foodie heaven! Everything we ate was outstanding. I made a point of not letting myself feel guilty for enjoying the food despite the calories. After all we were on vacation! Plus all the walking helped burn off some calories! We had omelets at Cafe Bellagio, Gourmet burgers at The Paris, Pizza at The California pizza kitchen, and many amazing meals in between!

We went to the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill Soul2soul concert at the Venetian and I have to say it was the best concert I’ve ever been to! The small venue paired with the fact we got upgraded to amazing seats was absolute perfection! For a good portion of the night Tim and Faith were close enough to touch! I may or may not have had a star struck moment over Tim McGraw! It was the best way to spend a Friday night in Vegas!

Kevin took me to the Mirage to see the dolphins and big kitty’s because he knows the Secret garden is one of my absolute happy places . There is something so calming about being so near to those dolphins. I could sit there for hours watching them play. No matter how many times we go to Vegas the experience never gets old.

We did all sorts of fun stuff and then we hung out in the pool and the hot tub for a while to unwind. We sipped drinks, we gambled, we just enjoyed our time together just the two of us.
It was amazing and I can’t wait until May to do it all again!

Thankful Thursday ~November 21

Nov21

I am gonna keep this short and sweet because I’m exhausted and still battling a cold!

I am thankful for the woman who saw our house was on fire on Monday and called 911! I am thankful my brother and husband stayed calm and battled the fire until the firemen arrived and I am most thankful no one was injured and the damages are much less severe then they could have been.

In Response To My Best Friend…

Aug28

And to all those looking marriage in the face!

Marriage

Scary topic right?? Yes and no! It is scary because you think it something new, unchartered waters, it isn’t all that new … Trust me.

I’ve learned a few things in the past three years of marriage. Trust me I’m not claiming to have all the answers and God knows I was a really bad wife for a while there BUT what I do have is some experience and some rambling to share with you!!

There Is No Such Thing As The Perfect Soulmate Or Perfect Marriage

Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble but nothing is ever perfect, you’re going to have hard times, disagreements, tears, fights, blowouts and there will be times you think about leaving. However there will also be love, quiet times, parties, happiness, and occasionally you will wonder how you ever lived without the other person.

Marriage is a balancing act and it’s a lot of work but the pay off can be amazing if you open your eyes and see the little things. Life is an amazing adventure if you allow it to be!

Marriage is not as scary as you think. Marriage isn’t a piece of paper Marriage is everyday, working together to get things done, marriage is grocery shopping, paying bills, going out for dinner, going on vacation, fights, compromise. Marriage is really no different then the things the two of you are doing day in and day out together right now! Don’t let those vows intimidate you. They are just words and your marriage license is just paper. Your words and that paper can’t force you to stay together. Your actions and feelings for each are what your marriage is made of. The way you work as a team and treat each other are what will keep you together.

Marriage is falling out of love and back in love with the same person hundreds of times because just when you think you’ve reached a breaking point something happens that makes you remember why you fell in love in the first place!!

Marriage is letting the other person have the last cupcake! Giving and taking but also being patient and thankful. Marriage is as much about learning who you are as it is learning who the other person is. Make yourself a promise right now to never give up on learning who either is!

Marriage is like the seasons, always changing, renewing, living, dying. Marriage is a promise to let your two worlds collide and to hold on for dear life to each other. To help each other be better. To help each other get through the tough times and embrace the good times.

Never let your marriage destroy your individuality and never think you have the right to destroy your partners individuality. Getting married doesn’t mean you lose you to become a “We”. Marriage means you promise to hold on to who you are, respect who your partner is and work together to both be the best you can. In the process the support will create an amazingly strong bond. Together you will be better because you have nurtured each others strong points.

Marriage is counting to ten and remembering that no matter how mad you are in this moment that person you’re livid with is someone you love deeply. Marriage is being careful with the words you choose because once those words are out there you can’t take them back.

Marriage is falling but helping each other back up. Sometimes one person may fall hard, fast, and deep. It’s going to hurt! You can embrace the hurt and walk away or you can except that much like cleaning a wound with iodine it’s gonna sting like a bitch but eventually the sting will subside and the scar will fade. People make mistakes and marriage is accepting the mistakes others make and the hurt they cause but deciding to heal through the hurt and be stronger on the other side.

Marriage and a wedding are not the same thing! In fact in today’s world either one can happen without the other! A wedding is a public celebration of the love between two people! Don’t let planing that celebration harm the love you’ve already built. Remember you can’t please everyone and your choices may step on a few toes but no one is going to die if YOUR wedding isn’t the way they envisioned it. Enjoy your special day, embrace the excitement and experience and remember its just one day. Marriage is the rest of your life if you choose for it to be.

Life ain’t always beautiful and neither is marriage. Both will knock you down but its easier to get back up when you have a hand from someone you love.

Be Better

May13

Dear everyone,

Someone’s value and self worth does not go down because their pant size has gone up nor does their worth go up as their pant size goes down.

I am seriously disgusted at how some adults expect their children to learn to not bully others because of body type yet grown ass women think its okay for them to snicker because not everyone is a size 2.. Be better ladies!

That girl at the gym my not be tiny and yes she out weighs you. She out weighs you as a better person! She can change her appearance but your ugly comes from the inside!!

Dear Girl at the gym,
You are beautiful! You are beautiful the way you are. You will be beautiful if you change or stay the same. Don’t let those ladies discourage you. You are there because you love yourself or because you’re learning to love yourself! Either way don’t stop. Do it for you, not for the size tag in your yoga pants.

Sincerely,
The girl who’s been there and back again.

Valentines 2013

Feb19

I meant to post about Valentines day last week but I was so caught up in everything I never got a chance. So better late then never!

My flowers and Kevin and I’s chocolates from Purdys that we actually hot the weekend before Valentines day. So pretty!!! So yummy!

On Wednesday night after I got home from work I got busy in the kitchen baking Raspberry vanilla cupcakes and sugar cookies for family and friends!!

On actual Valentines day Kevin and I ventured out and about doing lots if fun stuff! We delivered the baked goods to friends and then started our date day! We went to the new grilled cheese restaurant in Fort Langley, the antique mall, The winery, and Lepp farms!!!

The Fort winery was amazing. We did a tasting,had a tour of the facility and learned all about how the wine is made. It was awesome and I’d love to go back. The wine was all amazing but the cranberry was by far my favorite.

The new grilled cheese place in Fort Langley called Say Cheese was delicious but expensive. They are strictly a take out restaurants and the menu consists of about 8 different gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. I choose the turkey,Brie and jalapeño jelly sandwich. For the price and the calories it is definitely a treat food.

We did some grocery shopping at Lepp farms. I love their selection of local products, hormone/antibiotic free meats and fresh veggies. We bought many tasty things that turned into some amazing weekend meals. I wish the market was closer to our home.

After our date day we visited Kev’s parents and then headed home so he could whip up a fantastic steak dinner.

Valentines day left me feeling spoiled and loved but like I mentioned on Facebook days like Thursdays are not a rare occurrence. Kevin makes sure I get to go to all the places I enjoy on a regular basis.

I am indeed spoiled! I hope everyone had a great Valentines day and a fun weekend! I know Katie did!!! Congratulations again on your engagement Hun !! I know you and Matt will be very happy together.

Life With The McGavins

100% Not Sugar Coated