This morning I crawled out of my warm bed to take Muffin out to pee. I was hit with cold air upon opening the door! Cold air I haven’t felt since early last spring! I rushed Muff along and upon returning inside took a moment to crawl into bed beside Jacob. His barely awake warm self instantly embraced me and we cuddled for a solid 10 minutes before going about our regular before school routine. Now as I sit here reflecting on the morning I realize how much those ten minutes changed my day. They made me feel loved and relaxed and that put me in a great mood. I had more patience with my parents this morning and generally find myself less stressed!!
I hope our cuddle had the same effect on his day and I hope he never outgrows Momma cuddles! ❤️
Break my heart in two…..I’m already looking for you and you’re right here. Why does a few blocks feel like a journey of a million miles? You’re the apple of my eye!! You’re my tiny little best friend. Nothing makes my heart happier than you! Today I let you stand on your own two feet. Today I’ll cry and worry. Today I’ll experience the longest hour of my life. Such a bitter sweet feeling. Your apprehensive feelings are being held at bay by your excitement. Your compassion and concern for me is evident. I’ll be ok sweet boy. I’m just not ready for this… but I’ll learn and be looking forward to picking you up everyday to hear about your adventures. How did 6.5 years go by so fast? Through the jungle, through the dark, in the sunshine, home is wherever I am with you!
The passing of time is a cruel reminder that life is only so many seasons long. I’m sitting here this morning trying to figure out where the Summer went.
I’m thankful we got to spend time as a family making memories. As I look towards the approaching Fall I have an extremely strong grasp on what’s important to me while everything else seems to be spiralling out of control around me.
With that being said, honestly im exhausted. We are about to start down a brand new path of a child in school learning, a husband with a permanent injury attempting to go back to work, and continuing to weather the storm of aging parents.
Every time I think I’ve caught my breath something seems to push be back under the wave I’m trying not to drown in. I think I’m tired of trying to fill that void.
I’ve spent the last 8 months in therapy and I’ve learned so much. I however still have not mastered the ability to not let my anger and irritation skyrocket when someone does something that disappoints my child. To be honest I don’t think it’s a skill I will ever master.
Now I fully acknowledge that in life we all get disappointed sometimes and that’s just something we need to learn to deal with and I’m doing my best to teach Jacob how to handle these situations. With that being said im not talking about the little disappointments like not getting the cake you asked for or not getting to stop at the park! I’m talking about the hurtful disappointments. I’m talking about when a friend or family member breaks a promise or once again ignores your feelings. When a person constantly shows their favouritism by leaving you out. The list goes on.
So while I’m all for teaching my child that disappointments are simply a part of life I’m also right here to teach him that his feelings are valid! I’m here to teach him that allowing someone to continue to bring him hurt and disappointment with their actions and behaviour is not something that he or any of us has to tolerate.
Honor your feelings and give yourself space to actually feel them and work through them.
If you find yourself constantly tired trying to fill a void in a relationship maybe it’s time to evaluate that relationship. Maybe it’s time to have the hard conversation with yourself and really figure out if the way this relationship makes you feel is truly worth what you get out out of it.
Never let someone’s excuses convince you that their actions and excuses aren’t hurtful if they have in fact hurt you or your well-being.
Not everyone is going to like this…. but here it is…. Your mental health and well-being are more important than your job, than your career. More important than your deadlines, your to do list. Bigger than that event you said you’d attend. More important than your size. Bigger than money. More important than other people’s moods. If taking care of your mental health means letting someone else down than let them down. You’re mental health is more important than other people’s opinions of you. Its more important than status. You cannot be successful unless you take care of your own needs. Expressing your emotions and feelings is not a sign of weakness. Doing your best doesn’t mean pleasing all the people all the time. Do the things you need to do for your own well-being. You’re more of an asset to your family when you treat yourself with the love and respect you need and deserve. Fill your own cup and love yourself ❤️
Ten weeks of 2021 have come and gone. As I age I really realize how quickly time moves and somedays it’s really hard to swallow.
Speaking of time, Yesterday was a busy day!! The first half was all about hurry up and wait! I had to wait for the sourdough bread to do its thing so I could get it baked and out the door to 2 friends! It’s kinda neat to know something I create is being used to create a meal for another family to have dinner tonight! Covid may mean we can’t be together but we can stay connected!
The rest of the day was errands and groceries! I really enjoyed getting out of the house, even if was just for groceries. Kevin took me to my favourite local market (Ralph’s) and to Homesense! We went to Costco and he stopped and got me some Apple AirPods because the noise canceling function was recommended to me to help my mental health! I desperately need quiet to function and feel whole.
I’m very thankful I’ve got a husband who makes me take advice that may help me despite the cost.
Muffin would like you to know she’s extremely thankful for guacamole 🤣 This pup begged for guacamole and chips for an hour last night! She made me laugh!
I’ve had a love of reading from as far back as I can remember! The smell of a freshly cracked book is pure magic. The softness of magazines pages is relaxing bliss! Wandering a book store is pure joy for me!! Don’t even get me started on how walking into a Scholastic book fair felt as a child!
I love taking J to bookstores and just embracing the magic! Just browsing with no particular book in mind, finding what feels right.
This week we visited Chapters and each got a new book and a journal! (His gratitude journal came from amazon). I’m so excited to introduce Jacob to journaling and the act of acknowledging gratitude! Obviously if you’re here reading this you know about my Thankful Thursday posts and honestly thru truly serve as a great activity to refocus my week. Doing these posts has made me realize that practicing gratitude and journaling doesn’t have to take hours but it truly is beneficial!
I challenge everyone to take a week or a month and actively practice gratitude and make note of what brings you joy!
The vintage valentines simply made me smile,reminisce and brought me joy! We are going to mail Valentine’s to a few friends and family to hopefully spread happiness! While we were at the mall anyways we snuck into Purdys and got a beautiful heart box of chocolates filled will all our family favourites!
I’m truly thankful for our family outing to a few stores today. Given the Covid situation we haven’t been going into stores much and definitely not taking Jacob but today was an exception because he needed new clothes and I had no clue what size to buy him! It was so nice to feel normal for a couple hours.
Hi friends! Hope everyone is having a good week. I’m doing well. I’m extremely thankful to report I’ve started going to counselling again! I’ve spoken before about how I truly believe everyone should have a therapist! Someone to talk to and receive feedback and ideas on direction from! Going to therapy after Jacob was born made me realize my own value. It was probably the single best thing I did for myself during that time!
Fast forward to today and honestly the past few months, I’ve noticed my anxiety is much worse and my mental health is foggy at best. I’m increasingly irritable and I truly just don’t feel like my best self. One night a few weeks ago while unable to sleep because I couldn’t shut my brain off I sent an email to a local counselling program and was thrilled to be accepted. I started sessions this past Monday and I’m so grateful to be able to do so.
In full disclosure I should admit that on Monday I seriously considered canceling. Just a mix of nervousness, anxiety, etc. I posted the below statement on Instagram and was absolutely blown away by the number of people who reached out to me in support and with their own stories! Sometimes the internet and the connections with complete strangers is amazing. We really are all in this together and while we all have our own stories and own paths it doesn’t hurt to share our stories. Human connection is so vital to our wellbeing and o think we often forget or avoid it!
Wanna know what a good “resolution” is for 2021?!?! Supporting local and small businesses!
If you’re local and want to have the best sourdough and the best scones I’ve ever tasted check out Sweet little bake shop on Instagram! The double chocolate scones are what chocolate dreams are made of!!! Pure bliss!!
I’m very thankful for the online friendships and support I’ve found in other Mom’s and I love supporting them when we can! The above photos are our order from Sweet little bake shop yesterday and were absolutely delicious!
It’s hard not to be thankful with a paw full of chocolate deliciousness!
Before Christmas there was a “recipe” hack floating around Facebook and Instagram to make these peanut butter cup cookies! So tonight Jacob and I gave them a go!!
These are so easy! You need a Betty Crocker peanut butter cookie mix, mini resse cups, Pam, veggie oil and water.
Simply follow directions on the cookie package, spray mini muffin tin, divide dough into 12 even balls in the muffin tins, press in peanut butter cup. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes and allow to cool in tin for 5-10 minutes before removing.
Pros-Super easy! My 5 year old could 100% prep these himself. -Quick -Fun for the kids! All three gave them 2 thumbs up!
Cons-If you’re a home baker you’re not going to love the pb cookie mix! I’ll 100% recreate this with my homemade cookie recipe! -Hard to remove from pan. I sprayed the tin but definitely would suggested a hearty spray!
Another friend says she makes these with the pre made Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie dough! These would be a great rainy day activity with the kids!