Tag Archive | lupus

Starting Over

“You only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low.”

It’s been a while since I posted anything except recipes! I figured today is as good as any to change that. It’s been a long few months. Being off work has not been anything I expected it to be. I have found myself with zero motivation to eat healthy, workout, etc. I have taken giant strides backwards from where I was because running and working out has caused me too much pain. My mental struggles of being unable to get my body to work with me has been a frustrating experience.

On Monday Kevin and I met with Chris, a personal trainer at a new local gym. We spent four hours with him and it was an amazing experience. Having the chance to voice my experiences and frustrations was almost a cleansing experience. I walked away from the session having realized a number of things.

I realized I have spent the last months letting my illness get the best of me both physically and mentally. I have spent all my time focusing on where I’ve been and not where I’m going. I let the past cloud my vision of where I am today and what I need to do to take care of myself.

I realized I have forgotten to pay attention to what my body can do VS what the Lupus says it can’t. I need to be more realistic about my training goals. I need to embrace the good days and accept the bad days with a little more understanding and grace.

Chris reminded me that those bad days are going to be that much worse if I give up all together. Things will be harder if I continue to let my healthy eating slide.

Somedays I won’t be able to do a full workout or run. Somedays I’m going to hurt. Somedays I’m going to make poor food choices but that doesn’t mean I need to give up completely. One slip doesn’t mean I need to fall off the mountain and sit idly by and let it crumble on top of me.

On Monday I decided to spend the next 30 days embracing the life I have. I decided to go back to square one. The past is done with and where I was 6 months ago, a year ago, 2 years ago no longer has any bearing in where I am today! I’ve decided to embrace what I learned and what I was capable of in the past but to leave it alone and start fresh.

My main goal is to listen to my body. Going back to basics will hopefully reenforce the good healthy habits I know I am capable of embracing. Starting fresh gives me a chance to relearn what works for me right now.

Last night I took the trainers advice and took Muffin for a brisk 30 minute walk to warm up my muscles before jumping on the treadmill and attempting my first “back to basics run” of hopefully many. I walked as I needed and felt strong the whole time! Afterwards again at chris’ advice I spent a good amount of time stretching and foam rolling to avoid aches and hip pain. This morning when I woke up I stretched my legs and was thrilled to feel no post run pain! This was a huge victory for me and reminded me that even though my body isn’t perfect and lupus kicks my ass it can still do some amazing things! I am cautiously optimistic regarding my running. I know I can’t push it and I know that if the Lupus pain flares up I need to reevaluate things. But for today I’m calling it a win!

Today was a gorgeous day and we took Muffin to the park for a 3 km walk. It was nice to be out in the sunshine and fresh air. We came home and made a healthy dinner and then I headed off to the gym for an hour workout.

I keep picturing the little tortoise,from the children’s book The Tortoise and The Hare, not because I feel like I’m racing anyone or myself but because he reminds me that dedication and determination are the stepping stones to my own success.

I’ve spent too much time letting my self perceived failures dictate my current endeavors. I was reminded that nothing is a failure, it’s simply an experience. I realize that despite feeling good the last few days my body will undoubtedly challenge me again in the near future and that is why I realize it’s best for me to take baby steps one day at a time. As cliche as it sounds I really believe baby steps are the answer to my getting back on track. Maybe in a few months I will be strong enough to set more substantial goals, or maybe I won’t. Either way I’m fully committed to starting fresh and embracing myself and all the things my body and mind are capable of doing. It’s a much better option than the self sabotage I’ve grown accustom to the last 6 months!

Waiting!

Mar6

I guess an update about my weekend was overlooked because of my extra day off! Oh well better late then never right?!?? So I have a few more hours at work and I’m done for the week. I have a few things on the Ol’ To do list, most importantly coffee with Patricia and Sandra’s Birthday party! I still haven’t decided what kind of cupcakes I’m going to make for the party but I guess I should figure it out soon!

I have a feeling this weekend will be much busier then last! Last weekend was pretty low key but relaxing. We got a few things done, had a lunch date and enjoyed a long walk and some time at the dog park with Muffin!

The dog park and pup friendly beach area/trails at Crescent beach are great! Muffin was definitely happy for some park time! Pretty sure she enjoyed it more then her trip to the groomer! but seriously look how cute she is!

The only down side to the weekend was my lingering headache and some hip pain. It took a lot for me to take a day off work but I know it was the right choice. I suppose I should make another doctors appointment soon but I don’t really have any interest. I see my Lupus specialist in the Spring and have an MRI coming up.

The upside of my weekend other then the previously mentioned was Emma’s 8th birthday! Time flies!

We had a great lunch at the Townhall pub thanks to a Gift Card they gave me! I had the grilled chicken pesto quesadilla and side salad. It was perfection. Granted I’ve never had bad food at the Townhall! Being free was also a nice touch!

After lunch we ventured to the mall so I could get my new phone. I had my heart set on a new white iPhone and Telus provided! I am very impressed with the level of customer service I was provided.

They say a photo is worth a thousand words so here are a few from my weekend!

I hope everyone has enjoyed my recent recipe posts! There will for sure be many more to come! As for me I think Muff and I are going to go for a walk to Starbucks to pass some time and get some fresh air!!

Does anyone have any recipe idea or requests?!?!

A Man Of Many Skills..

Feb18

No one ever said life was easy or fair! And no one ever tells you that every now and then you will get slapped in the face by something simple you have taken for granted!

My something simple has manifested itself in the form of juicing limes and lemons! Woah is me right?!?!?! But seriously, I can’t do it anymore! Okay maybe I shouldn’t be so dramatic and say I can’t. I can do it, just not well or without excessive pain. My wrist and hips are so far my most affected joints by far since my autoimmune issues have flared their ugly head and turned my life upside down.
I am stubborn, some may even say a bitch at times. It takes a lot for me to ask for help and a few nights ago while making a batch of guacamole I caved and asked Kevin to juice my lime. *Someone please tell me I’m not the only one that giggled at that last sentence!!!*. I do my best everyday to get things done and not let my being sick get me down. So while it may not seem like a big deal asking him for help, to me it is. It makes me feel weak and broken.

Now for the flip side of this story … The upside if you will! My husband is a man of many talents and apparently pulverizing citrus fruit is on his hidden list of oddly sexy skills. Maybe it is his strong manly hands, or maybe he is some sort of fruit crushing superhero! Either way he manages to get more juice out of one lime or lemon then I ever could out if three even at my peak of wrist helpfulness!!!

Seriously folks I’m impressed! He leaves nothing but a citrus shell, a former juice filled vessel destined for the compost bin!!!!

Look at that! Feast your eyes on almost half a cup of pulp laden lemon juice from one lemon!!!! ONE!!!! I got him to pre-juice my fruit for tonight’s dinner at work when he came to visit this afternoon.
Be still my beating heart!!! Back off ladies he is all mine 😉

Lunch And Puppy Cuddles

Feb12

So I’m halfway through my three day work week. Muffin is cuddled up under a blanket with me, I think she is having a sympathy headache! Or she’s just a fluffy little lazy beast! Either way I love the cuddles!

Kisses anyone?!?!?

So my goal for the week is simple in theory, get my portions back on track. For the most part I eat very healthy with a treat in moderation. I don’t deny myself the things I want or live but I do try to stick to the 80/20 rule. The last few months have been tough though. I find when I’m not feeling well my portion control suffers and I’m much more likely to give into extra treats. When my body is in so much pain it is like my brain says forget this lets eat another cookie. The lupus stuff has been a lot to take and now I’m slowly coming to terms with everything it’s time to get life back on track a little.

Yesterday I started out my day with a bowl of ancient grains oatmeal with a tablespoon of peanut butter and a tablespoon of hemp hearts. It was delicious and kept me full right through my mid morning workout. At the gym I did 30 minutes if cardio, 20 minutes of legs and 10 of abs, plus some stretching! It was packed yesterday at the gym, which my work mom and I figured was because it was a stat holiday here in BC yesterday for family day!

After the gym I snacked on two hard boiled eggs mixed with some fresh full and a tablespoon of light olive oil mayo.

While it may not look all that appealing I can assure you it was yummy! In fact this is becoming one of my favorite snacks.

A while later I made myself some homemade bruschetta and served it on green olive bread. Very filling and tasty.
For dinner the boss and I each had the three bean veggie burgers I made on Sunday afternoon alone with a spring mix salad and some olive oil pan fried potatoes with homemade guacamole and tzatziki. It was an excellent meal. I really like the three bean burgers better then the ones I made last time with just black beans. Better texture and more flavour! I will take photos next time I make them.

Later in the evening I had a small serving of pistachios. I love nuts but pistachios might be my favourite!! My treat yesterday was a cookie Kevin brought me when he came to visit. All in all I was content with my food choices and workout for the day.

I started out today with the same breakfast as yesterday. I’m really finding the hemp hearts bulk up the oats and give the breakfast a little more staying power. For lunch I had spring mix toped with left over BBQ garlic chicken and fajita peppers and onions with trader joes cilantro dressing. I also toasted an English muffin and spread liver sausage on it… I know I know! Don’t judge me I have gross cravings 😉 I only crave liver sausage when my iron is low so I always listen to that craving.

Kevin is on his way to visit Miss Muff and I here at work. We are going to take her for a nice long hilly walk! It won’t be nearly as nice as our sunny Sunday forest 4 km walk but it will have to do.

It was so beautiful on Sunday we couldn’t resist a trip to the park after Kevin made BBQ chicken fajitas for lunch and we walked to the local Sunday market for some fresh flowers and browsing!! It defiantly felt like spring on Sunday!! Today the drizzle is back! Welcome to BC folks!!

I hope everyone is having a good day!

Is It Wednesday Yet?

Jan29

Terrific Tuesday? Terrible Tuesday? I guess time will tell!! Well friends I’ve had a busy week! Last Wednesday I left work early to venture into Vancouver to the Lupus clinic. I met with my new specialist and I have to admit I really like her. My appointment was two hours long and incredibly through. I am on new pain meds, have to go for a mile long list blood work and tests on my kidneys, gallbladder, etc. I don’t have to go back for three months unless something major arises or changes. I do however have to decide if I am going to let them do localized injections into my hips and wrists. So much to think about.

The drive into Vancouver was quiet as I think we both had a lot on our minds. The weather on Wednesday was a direct reflection of how I was feeling!

After the appointment Kevin took me grocery shopping at Whole foods to cheer me up!

We bought some yummy things but my favourite by far was a loaf of cranberry pistachio bread made my Terra breads in Vancouver. It was amazing! We also bought organic maple sausages, vegan chocolate mousse, turkey cranberry apple dinner sausages, pineapple mango salsa, etc. Have I mentioned I love Whole goods and grocery shopping!!

After grocery shopping we went to Metrotown mall and wandered around Lush, Lululemon, and the Nike store. What can I say the man knows how to cheer me up and take my mind off things!! I ended up picking out a couple of bath bombs and a new Nike tshirt for the gym.

Thursday I attempted to sleep in on the advice of my specialist. My body had other plans and I was up at 8 am!! I made a big French toast breakfast and then we headed out for the day. We took Muffin for a walk around the duck pond, went to some thrift stores and got mini cupcakes before coming home and making yummy tasting plates of pickled veggies, crackers, meat and cheese. Yummy!!!!

Afterwards I headed to the gym with my Katie and Krista for an awesome work out and some girl talk! There may or may not have been Starbucks afterwards!

Friday we spent the day in Vancouver once again. This time on the UBC campus while by brother was at the MS hospital. To pass the day Kevin and I had lunch at a pub on campus, wandered around, found Menchies for some froyo then went for a walk on the beach at Pacific Spirit Park. BC really is a beautiful province and an great place to live. We have access to the Ocean, Rivers, mountains, country and city living.

After we came home I had the epic kitchen fail as you may have read about last week! Though I did have a great run that night so they was a plus. The rest of the weekend I tried to keep it low key because I came down with a cold. The germs finally got me! Yuck. Thankfully it didn’t get too bad thanks to my daily combination of honeyand cinnamon and my water with apple cider vinegar. I have to say I was skeptical at first but I’ve never fought off a cold so quickly not easily! The cinnamon honey mix doesn’t look glamorous but it doesn’t taste bad. The apple cider vinegar is another story!

We ventured out Saturday afternoon to the pub and had lunch with some friends. I couldn’t help but giggle at Patricia when Colin ordered her a shot. She took it like a champ!

There was no drinks for me as I’m still getting use to my new pain meds. However there was a cookie!

After our adventurous couple hours out I came home, put my pj’s back on and cuddled on the couch with the pups and my man.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling considerably better and headed off to the gym for an hour long workout before returning to work. I have Muffin with me at work this week so I’m pretty content. I keep hoping we get a break in the icky weather so we can ho out for a walk. Until then… Cuddles!

And a snack!

A Week In A Blink

Jan22

Please pardon my MIA status for the last week. I’ve been feeling very stressed with my up coming appointment at the Lupus clinic. I’ve been doing my best to keep myself occupied and busy. I succeeded at both for the better part of the last week!

Wednesday night after work my best friend, Katie and I hit Starbucks for some tea and small talk. I’ve found myself becoming more closed off these days even around those I love deeply. I think it is a combination of being unwell, the unknown, and the inability to even get out what I want to say. With that being said it was nice to have some one on one BFF time.

Thursday I ventured out to get my nails done, toes painted, and eye brows waxed! A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! Unfortunately that meant venturing outside in flip flops. Let me tell you it was not a warm experience!!!

I came home from my nail appointment to get love attacked by Maple and Muffin!

After I managed to pull myself away from the pups, Kevin and I ventured out to run some errands. We went to the wild bird store and then to edible arrangements before heading to Starbucks and to visit a friend. Our friends recently finished a kitchen renovation and oh my gosh it is seriously gorgeous!!!! So jealous! Once we got home Kevin had to force me to eat dinner before I was allowed to bust open the box of chocolate covered fruit we picked up at Edible arrangements!!!

If you have never tried anything g from E.A. I suggest you go… Go now… I will wait!! But seriously, so amazing…so not cheap! You’ve been warned!

Friday I got up early and headed to the gym. I got my workout in despite the pain!

I promise I burned more then five calories!!! I only have this photo because I’m still getting use to the iPhone! After the gym I had coffee with a friend and walked around the mall before coming home to a little family work party of wood chopping and stacking!

I was out on stacking duty because let’s face it I’m not chainsaw or axe handling material these days!!! After the work was done I was thoroughly exhausted but rallied to go out for the night with some friends. One of our friends is a musician and was playing at one of my favourite pubs! We spent most of the evening there, had dinner, some drinks then hit the hot tub!

I’m such a fan of tasting plates and this one was amazing!!! The pub makes their own marinated veggies and beer infused Dijon mustard! As well as the pretzel buns! I would order this again in a second!!!

The waitress and I become quick friends so she made sure my wine arrived as full as possible!!

The hot tub felt amazing in the freezing winter night. Thanks to my autoimmune issues I can only handle about ten minutes at a time so I got out and wrapped my self in blankets on the patio. I’m no fun!!

Saturday morning saw me power clean the house before heading into Vancouver for the day with a group of eight friends. We had a very entertaining day and a wonderful meal at a quaint little Italian restaurant.

The butter was rose buds!! I was a fan !!!

The rest of the weekend was rather low key because I was exhausted. When I think about last year at this time I get insanely frustrated because of how much my life has changed. Being sick has caused me to have to slow down. I haven’t been running and I miss it. I am going to the gym three days a week as opposed to five days a week as I was before. I guess I should be happy I’m able to go at all. I have to be honest I’m not feeling overly optimistic today. I really can’t wait until this specialist appointment is done with.

Anyways this week so far has been good. The gym yesterday was helpful temporarily in helping me forget how much I’m not enjoying my to do list this week!!

Tonight I made home made black bean burgers and they turned out awesome and of course I neglected to take a photo!!! Blogger fail!!

A few more pictures from the past week!!

Enjoy and goodnight friends 🙂

Life With The McGavins

100% Not Sugar Coated