I asked my Mom for a white Christmas just an hour or so before she left us 2 weeks ago. She delivered today. I cried and laughed simultaneously. I can’t explain the way I felt today. I can tell you I’m not ready to pack Christmas away. At dinner we left an empty chair between my Father and my husband. This too made me both smile & feel empty and sad at the same time. Navigating the holiday season through this season of grief has been hard. And so know my journey has only just begun. I’m thankful to be surrounded by an amazing group of friends who continue to check on me, who continue to do little things to raise my spirits. I’m thankful Christmas Day was white and snowy. Im thankful for the memories of Christmases past with my Mom. I’m thankful and I’m sad. In the words of the Grinch “Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand. ❤️❄️❄️❄️🎄🎄🎄💔
I’ve got a lot I should update about but I’m not ready. I’m sad and grief is absolutely unmapped territory.
So instead I’ll share some photos from today. Our day was quiet but productive. We got groceries, I hugged a friend, I drank coffee sitting down, I left the house, I ate yummy food, I wore my festive pants and I felt all the feels. A friend dropped off lovely flowers and fun Rae Dunn things to cheer me up. I thought a lot about my friends who are checking in and showing up. It means the world to me.
We had a Pre-Christmas family night last night. This little gift has been wrapped since mid November and Jacob has been stewing about when to open it! Last night was his decision! We skipped the pizza plan and ordered White spot take out and then ripped open the gift and built our LEGO wreath!! We capped off the evening with a new Christmas book!! It was such a fun way to spend the evening together!! This brought me joy! For that I’m thankful 🎄🎄🎄🎅🏻🎅🏻🦌⛄️❄️
Grab a drink (I’ve got iced Christmas tea mixed with diet ginger ale and it’s pure heaven) and pull up a seat! Let’s talk! Real talk! 2020 has been a really tough year on many levels for most people! I’ve continued to try my best to practice gratitude and offer my assistance to others in need in ways that work for my little family. But I’m going to be honest with you all… I’ve had my moments & struggled. I’ve had my moments of frustration , irritation, fear, sadness, anger, pretty much every emotion! Thankfully for me I’ve got an amazing husband to fall back on for support, a house full of family, and a handful of amazing friends to turn to. I’ve got a whole team of you here on social media ready to interact with me and share some giggles at the click of a post!! I’ve made new online friends through our shared Love of vintage stuff, crafting, love of community, etc. So to all of you who help break up my day and make me laugh, smile, reflect, learn, etc thank you!! To my new found friends I’m so excited to get to spend time with you when it’s safe!
To all of you getting through this thing day by day and doing your best to follow the rules and show kindness, Thank you!
Yesterdays announcement on Christmas restrictions hit me hard. I held it together over the evening but I literally burst into tears over breakfast this morning. And you know what … that’s ok. It’s ok because the announcement sucked, the realization of what it all means just flat out sucks. There is no sugar coating it! Watching other people skirt the rules or flat out ignore them is straight up maddening. Sometimes it’s hard to not get angry and blame others for this mess.
So this morning I had my cry and I pulled myself together and I’m not going to sit here and spew toxic positivity at you and tell you it was rainbows and butterflies all afternoon because it wasn’t! My mood continued to reflect the weather! Kinda dark and gloomy but progressing through the afternoon. But I will tell you I spent part of the afternoon doing little things to help other people (because acts of service and gift giving are how I express love) and honestly that was the highlight of my day. I got my parents groceries at Ralph’s Farm Market because I truly don’t want them in stores if we can avoid it and I feel very safe doing their shopping at Ralph’s. We dropped off our reverse advent calendar donations (a few days late) to Cloverdale Community Kitchen. I dropped off the tree ornaments a new friend had me make. I generally kept busy!
During my brief out and about today you know what I noticed??? People trying their best to follow distancing protocol. I noticed staff that were welcoming and smiling behind their masks (you can tell) I noticed most people are being kind and doing the best they can to get through this. I noticed kindness despite adversity and fear. I noticed thankfulness from others and then I remembered the quote from the Grinch.. “Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more”. Maybe this year we all need to find a way to make it mean a little bit more. Maybe we can all try to flow through our days with kindness and intention. Maybe we can try to find the good. Share a smile. I’m not saying to suppress the hard feelings but try to find the silver lining. Again I’m not going to throw toxic positivity at you and tell you a list of ways to stay positive. I’m just asking you to make an effort to see something good in each day. Hell im sure I’ll have another good cry before the week is over but I’m going to try my best to take care of myself, my family, and actively try to look for that silver lining!
Today I cried and felt sad but my silver lining was feeling safe shopping and seeing my parents from the driveway when we dropped off the groceries. Jacob singing jingle bells in the truck! Hearing my Mom cry briefly on the phone then pull herself together and tell me how happy she was to see us today (even if it was only a few minutes from the drive way). Listening to her tell me how much she liked the little chocolate treats she found in the grocery bag! The air hug from 10 feet away when handing off an order to a new friend! Spending a few minutes alone arranging the beautiful flowers I got at the market and finally getting these words out.
I know we are all busy this week! Busy seems to be a common thread that ties us all together in the chaos.
I made sure to take time this week for a few important (to me) moments. A few little things that remind me of what this season is all about. Giving, sharing, and enjoying the simple things!
This week I made a point of supporting local businesses and home based business as much as possible! While I shop local as much as possible all year long this week I treated myself to beautiful handmade bracelet by a local artisan, Eva. I bought our cases of Christmas wine from The GrapeVine in Abbotsford. We bought our gorgeous Christmas tree from an Aldergrove family farm. We got our eggs from a nearby farm and made sure to recommend local options to friends and family seeking advice on their purchases. If we all made a point of trying to support home based business, local farmers and our local communities amazing things could happen!
This week I was also fourtune enough to get to spend an evening with some of my amazing girlfriends. We had a fun little cookie swap at my house! We all baked a different kind of cookie and gathered for some snacks, some mulled Apple cider and some much needed relaxing together! It’s tough to get a group together these days but in the last few months I’ve really found my groove of organizing little events. That paired with my friends being extremely supportive of my Epicure adventure I’ve been very blessed with their presence.
Giving…I try my hardest all year to share. I try to share my time, my love, anything I can to help others. I believe a little giving goes a long way. Many people think giving has to be monetary but it doesn’t. It can be time, support, kind words, advice, anything. Every Christmas we try to help somewhere, some how. This week a local need in our own neighborhood was brought to my attention and we made our choice to give our Christmas giving to that cause. It’s not a secret this year has been a tough one for my little family given my health issue and Kevin’s injury so it really made me happy to be able to do something for someone else. I’m not going into detail because I don’t want praise. It’s simply a reminder to myself that even when things are tough I am truly blessed.
I think this week I really made a point of being present, being hopeful, and embracing things.
I love this time of year but this year feels different. It feels like the first time ❤️
Hi friends! I’ve missed you! Jacob is napping so I thought I’d take a few minutes and say hello! I’ve been busy chasing my tiny terror everywhere! He’s small but he can move!!
Last week I did something I’ve been considering for a long time, I signed up with Epicure as an independent consultant. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about this. I’ve been using and loving Epicure products for a couple years now. Any of you who follow me on Instagram know how often I share my creations featuring Epicure spices, blends, and cookware! I love that their products are low/no sodium, healthy, gluten free, and many are certified non-Gmo! I also love that it’s a local, woman run company! I look forward to sharing my Epicure adventures with you all!
Erica McGavin with Epicure – check out all Epicure’s awesome products here!
On the home front we had a koi pond emergency this past Saturday. We aren’t sure what exactly happened but the pond drained from 5 feet to 1 foot over night. Needless to say we had our hands full trying to relocate and save our fish! Between the raccoons, heron and leak it’s been a tough year for those suckers! Rest assure they are safe… They will be spending the winter in our hot tub. We had to quickly seal the jets with pond tape but it’s done and they are as happy as can be! I bet we have the only indoor pond on the block!
I was lucky enough to receive free passes for The Westcoast Christmas show this past weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed browsing, shopping and seeing Santa!
The weekend prior we got to check out the Langley Christmas show and I picked up some great local products!
We’ve also been busy celebrating Kevin’s birthday and our 5th wedding anniversary! Seriously where does the time go??? Wherever it goes, we’re exhausted!
I cannot believe my tiny baby boy is almost walking. I can’t believe how fast he’s learning, growing, and evolving into a little boy. Though he’s 9 months old it feels like he was born yesterday. I blinked and my tiny baby is a power to be reckoned with. He has a mind of his own and keeps me extremely busy!!
On Halloween we realized how excited Jacob was by all the lights. Every time he sees a Christmas tree he gets so excited. Tonight while at Costco he got super excited over a little 4.5 foot tree! Given his reaction we couldn’t not buy him one. So $125 later he has his tree. When we turned the lights on he got so excited he squealed and waved his arms. His reaction made me cry. Happy tears. I love Christmas and I can’t wait to share this amazing time of year with my son! ❤️