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So That Was Christmas

So that was 2022.

An entire year without her.

An entire year of downward trajectory.

An entire year of heartbreak.

A year of trying to hold on.

A year of not letting it break me completely.

Almost a whole year of the saddest most heart wrenching alone feeling I’ve ever felt.

A year of trying to find the light, of finding the littlest moments to help get me by.

A year of realizing the things you thought you wouldn’t miss are the things you miss the most.

A year of holding on to the fact that it can’t be this way forever. All these sorrows and troubles will someday find a way of settling into dust. The realization that sometimes you have wait out the blizzard and try your best not to freeze.

Thankful Thursday Week 36/52

Hello September 🍂

What a wild ride 2020 has been so far! This week has been a tough one for me personally. After an awesome adventure with my little family I found it tough to settle back into the day to day and harder yet to face the reality of dealing with our new normal. I’m really doing my best through all of this to find a bit of calm but when weeks like this hit it’s tough.

So this week I’m beyond grateful for a few friends who take the time to check in. For friends who ask questions to be sure I’m truly ok. Friends who pick up the phone and call me or send a text! Friends who don’t have an agenda! Friends who care enough to ask why we came home early from our trip. Friends who take the time to listen when I need to vent about how hard the current situation I’m facing with aging parents truly is. Friends who are true and real!

So thank you to those friends! Thank you for the unguarded love. Thank you for the mutual respect. Thank you for being you.

Thankful Thursday Week 18/52 Birthday Edition 🎂

It’s my birthday!! 38! How did that happen?!?

I have to say my day was leaps and bounds better then I expected it was going to be! I’ve sort of been blah about my birthday for the past few weeks because of the covid quarantine situation. But my friends and family really surprised me today!! For that I’m thankful!

My morning started out with lots of love and treats from my boys! Then a knock on the door to discover my best friend had brought over gifts and my favourite cake! Thanks to her I got to enjoy lunch time cake and a social visit in the driveway with my parents!

Later in the day another friend delivered the most beautiful floral bouquet to me!

In the afternoon Kevin took me for a drive to get out of the house and found a road side flower stand and I got to pick out more flowers!

These little gesture where so uplifting! I felt very loved all day! It was a great birthday and I’m very thankful for everyone who helped bring me joy!

Thankful Thursday Week 16/52

Hey friends! I’m not going to lie to any of you…. I’ve been cranky!! Not just a little off full on cranky!! I’m frustrated by having to put my renovations on hold and by being unable to move forward. I know it’s Thursday and my goal is to post what I’m thankful for but I’m also real. This whole thing is hard!

So today I’m Thankful for being able to be honest and tell you all that I’m struggling. I’m longing for normalcy of the day to day life we lost so abruptly! I do however remind myself daily how lucky I am that my family is safe and healthy and how much worse things could be! So I’m thankful I can be real and honest and still admit this is all very hard!

Thankful Thursday Week 13/52

It’s been a long week for all of us! I don’t have much to say today but I will share one of the things im thankful for today. I’m thankful for all the logistics staff, farmers, truck drivers, grocery store staff etc working through this terrifying time to maintain our food supply.

Without these integral workers things would be much harder than they already are! So thank you to you and everyone on the front lines. ❤️

Thankful Thursday Week 12/52

What a week! Are you guys okay out there? This week has been one of the longest weeks of any of our lives. The emotional roller coaster, the information overload, the fear, the unknown.

I don’t have a lot of advice to offer except love each other hard and do your best to help keep other safe.

Take time to breathe. Step away from social media. Find safe ways to distract from the situation at hand. Bake a cake, try a new recipe, read a book, dance! Anything that will make you smile!

This week I’m thankful for lots! I’m thankful for everyone who is taking this seriously. I’m thankful my family is currently healthy. I’m thankful I can bury my face in my husbands beard and in Jacob’s little neck and breathe in their smells and feel love.

I’m thankful for cheerful flowers and that Mother Nature has blessed us with a week of sunshine so we can at least play in the backyard to break up the day! I’m thankful for cupcakes and coffee. I’m thankful for phone calls with friends and daily text check in’s.

I’m thankful I can find something to be thankful for!

We are all in this together.


Thankful Thursday Week 3/52

My Thankful thoughts tonight are simple. I’m Thankful my little family is all together under the same roof, warm, safe.

The weather the last few days is usually the type of weather that is panic inducing and stressful for me. As a nurse taking a snow day is often met with employer pushback and irritation. I mean I totally understand why, any healthcare role is a vital role but this week because I’m off work it was pleasant and easy. I know that I’m extremely fortunate to be laying in a warm bed with my child snuggled up to one side and my dog snuggled up to the other. While the faint sounds of the tv down the hall sneak in from whatever show my husband is watching as he enjoys some peaceful quiet time to himself.

With the recognition and realization of how lucky we are I’ve also thought a lot about what it would be like to be out there in this weather with no place to go. The only word I can come up with is terrifying. Terrifying and cold.

Over the holidays there was so many opportunities to giveback, to donate, lend a hand. Now that many of us are settled back in to the day to day of mid January it’s easy to overlook those fundraisers or food drives. So tonight I’m asking you to join us and take a few minutes this weekend and take a peek through your closets or storage, find those winter jackets, boots, unneeded blankets and drop them off at your local shelter. This winter is far from over and you never know, you might be saving a life. ❤️

Coldest Night Cloverdale/Surrey

Weekend Wonders-I’m Aware It’s Wednesday

So my weekend wasnt all cooking and baking! I did a few other things and had a bit of relaxing time! Of course I’m not as intense in the relaxation zone as Muffin is!





Of course she earned these naps! She had to venture out to Bosleys pet store to get food and treats! Riding shot gun I’m the sun is a lot of work!




I keep telling you life is hard! So hard in fact I was forced to have a mud bath.

It may look odd but the mud leaves my skin so soft and it is actually very calming. They sell it by the bottle at Spa Utopia! Try it!

I spent some time gardening and was excited to see some of my seeds have sprouted! Very giddy to see the Brussels sprouts sprouted!!


We got a delivery of lumber for the new stairs. Complete with crane truck!


See I to you I did other stuff!! However I did do more baking, I baked cupcakes for Sandra’s birthday party! Vanilla bean filled with Nutella and frosted with chocolate buttermilk. Very rich and delightful.


While they were baking Maple and I played fetch for almost an hour! She is still full of puppy energy! Love her! Thankfully she didn’t mind my cowgirl chic look of muddy boots and lulemons! I’m sexy!



Saturday night a group of us headed to Sandra’s 31st Birthday party




The party was laid back and full of laughs and good conversation. I guess it’s a sign of changing times and our age. I’m glad I went. I’m glad I got to catch up with friends and cuddle Lincoln, the puppy! I was exhausted by the end of the night and very glad to come home to Kevin for a Saturday night of couch cuddles.

I woke up early Sunday morning and needed to get some fresh air, so Emma and I headed to the Sunday market and bought flowers. We got flowers for Krista and my mom as well as for me.

I just feel better about life when there is fresh flowers in the house. After we got the flowers situated, Krista and I took Emma and the dogs for another walk to our local dog boutique for some treats!



I am very excited that the two new pet-stores have opened in Cloverdale. It is nice to take Muffin for a walk and buy her a treat. No kids what can I say!


This week at work has been quiet and good minus the fact I have a horribly sore throat.

I’ve been alternating between cuddling Muffin, drinking tea, and whining about death being near!