Pay attention to your surroundings because secrets are most often hidden in plain sight.
Sometimes I create these wild scenarios in my head. Scenarios to explain why something is happening or not happening. More often then not when something is bothering me with someone or a situation I’ve had the argument or conversation in my head multiple times before we get around to laying the cards on the table. By the time you realize I’m angry I’ve already surpassed the point of simple recovery. I use to think I might be legitimately crazy but with age comes wisdom. Now at 38 years old I realize that I am one of those people who feel things viscerally. I can’t let things go until I’ve gone over every version of the situation a number of times. Break it into a million pieces and put it back together just so.
Do your shattered, jagged edges cut through everything? Through everyday or do they glisten in the sunshine as you try to figure out how to navigate a world where we’re all a little broken and jagged?
My imperfections are not inadequacies, they are my truths. They are what makes me who I am. You can try to make sense of these things but all you will ever do is base me on you. The version of me you have created doesn’t actually exist. That person is simply an outcome of the pieces of me you want to take. The events you want to remember. The conversations both spoken and not that you have glued together with your feelings and your thoughts. This is the only way we really know anyone.
Sweet friend, Norman bates said it best “It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes.”
Hello September 🍂
What a wild ride 2020 has been so far! This week has been a tough one for me personally. After an awesome adventure with my little family I found it tough to settle back into the day to day and harder yet to face the reality of dealing with our new normal. I’m really doing my best through all of this to find a bit of calm but when weeks like this hit it’s tough.
So this week I’m beyond grateful for a few friends who take the time to check in. For friends who ask questions to be sure I’m truly ok. Friends who pick up the phone and call me or send a text! Friends who don’t have an agenda! Friends who care enough to ask why we came home early from our trip. Friends who take the time to listen when I need to vent about how hard the current situation I’m facing with aging parents truly is. Friends who are true and real!
So thank you to those friends! Thank you for the unguarded love. Thank you for the mutual respect. Thank you for being you.
It’s been exactly one year since I walked away from my job with an employer who didn’t value me as a employee but worse he didn’t value you me as a human being. Finding the courage to walk away from a well paying job when I was the sole provider for my little family was one of the hardest and most terrifying things I had ever done!!! But you know what? It was the best decisions I ever made. My well-being and my mental health, my actual health, my sanity all proved more important than a paycheque. Finding my self worth and myself again has been a journey. But as I sit here in this little cabin, looking at the moon reflecting on the lake I’ve never been more sure of something in my life!!
Take care of yourself! Your whole self! Don’t put up with people who treat you like you’re worth less than they are! Don’t put up with people who think they own you because they sign your paycheque. Treat others with respect and don’t tolerate those who don’t treat you the same. Love the ones who love you. Find your people and hold on!
Everything will work out even if the first step terrifies you!
Good morning friends! Im sitting here sipping a cup of tea on the couch and cuddling with Muffin! All is quiet here right now because the boys are still asleep.
When I decided Back in January to do this weekly thankful Thursday post I truly thought it would just be one post of many I did weekly! I had planned on getting back to sharing recipes, Friday faves, life updates, etc but obviously none of that has materialized! I’m not really sure why. I find that despite not having a set list of to do’s, work, etc isn’t making me productive in the traditional sense. I also realize that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I feel like I’m in a quiet season of life these last few months. Obviously covid has lended a hand in that by way of slowing our plans, our outings etc.
I find myself sipping drinks slower, admiring the flowers a little longer, and paying attention to the way the light in the evening hits our living room. Im also finding myself less likely to reach out to friends and wanting to spend more time alone and with my little family.
I can’t really explain how I feel. It’s a weird combination of slower, calculated living and learning to control the pockets of brewing anxiety that make me question what if I’m not making the most of this time?! What if I’m not doing life right!
Kevin has always told me that I’m one of those people who looks for reasons to stress, that I often worry about the what if’s and he’s right! I do that! Lately I’ve been making an effort to not do that. But on some level it’s who I am. However I’m finding myself learning to acknowledge it and work through it more often than not.
I truly thought that I would of spent this time away from work being extremely productive in terms of weight loss, exercise, creating a home schedule for cleaning, meal plans, etc. It’s been almost a year and none of that has happened! And that’s ok! Because what has happened in the last year is a stepping stone that I needed to live the rest of my life. I’ve learned that nothing is guaranteed and that no matter how hard I try to make others happy that ultimately I’m not responsible for their happiness or their joy. Sure I can lend my love and support to their happiness but I’m not responsible for it! I’ve realized that I’m an adult and I don’t need to ask for permission for things I want or need. I’ve learned it’s ok to trust my gut. I’ve realized that I can disappoint others in order to protect myself. I’ve finally accepted that this is my life and no one owns me. No one controls me and the daily civility of life doesn’t mean letting others dictate how I live to meet their needs.
For that I’m truly thankful ❤️
Hey friends! It’s been a pretty quiet week around here. It’s sometimes weird to think it’s been 5 months of this pandemic. 5 months of restrictions, sanitizing, and wondering what’s next!
I can’t help but be thankful on a daily basis that I’m blessed enough to be at home through all this. I don’t know how I’d be handling it all if I was on the front lines nursing patients through this. Actually I do know! I’d get up every day and do my job and be and tightly wound ball of stress.
It’s so easy to get tangled up in feeling blah with the whole situation but I’m making a strategic effort to see the good in all this!! My family is at home, safe, comfortable, healthy, together! Sure everyday life isn’t as simple as it used to be but it sure could be worse!! And I’m truly thankful it’s not worse!
Oh my gosh my kitchen counters are finally installed!!! I’m so excited and beyond thankful to have this done! Countertop measurements are being taken on Friday and should be installed early July!! I’m so excited!!
I’m also so incredibly thankfully that yesterday Jacob and I went to his social distance kindergarten meet and greet and now he’s excited for school this fall!!!
It’s been a week friends! We’re busy with the renovation but still found time to go to Campbell valley park this week and get out for some walks! I’m not going to lie I haven’t been doing much exercising lately (and it shows) and I feel blah most days I terms of fitness but getting out for walks these week has been helpful. I’m thankful for my lil walking buddies and the beauty of the forests near us!
How is it already June?!?
This year has been crazy and somedays it’s hard to find positivity and gratitude given all that’s going on around us. But if I’ve learned anything from this it’s that your gratitude doesn’t have to be a big thing or something easy to explain. Just taking a few minutes to think about what I’m thankful for can often reset my negative energy!
So today I’m thankful we finally booked out kitchen counter install date! Our renovation has been on hold due to covid but it’s looking like we are able to move forward!
Happy Thursday friends! This week I’m thankful for this little moments I get to create things! This past February Kevin encouraged me to buy a cricut and I’ve fallen in love with creating stencils to paint signs!
I love the process and the finished product! I find it very relaxing!